Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Going All Along



More than twelve months ago, He set off for a year-long crash course in what He hated to call 'soul searching.'  Thinking that He had lost it to begin with was more than disappointing; it was terrifying.  What else had been unknowingly dropped through the holes in his mid-Western khaki short pockets?

Having an idea of where the winds would take him but not completely sure of what, The Boy remembered boarding the plane that would whisk him far from the land where his closest family and friends resided.  This action, however small it was, would be the first of many times He knew that such a thing as happenstance existed.  Despising his parents for enrolling him into karate classes, being forced to become a puppeteer, being one of two boys who were cut from volleyball tryouts, watching as his parents lost almost everything they dreamed of having, first seeing a dance performance in high school, choosing which schools to apply to and which one to attend, falling in and out of love...  It all carried him to this year, this place, this state of realizing that He

needed

so

much

more

from 

his

life.

Wanting to break His curse, The Beast set out to find what it was He so desperately needed.  True Love's kiss?  Such things only existed in Fairy Tales, and given the circumstances, his story strayed far from that.

... Or not so much.

As a particular french host reminded him on his last night in one of the most romantic cities in the world, "For someone who claims they don't make many friends, there sure were a lot of people to say goodbye to you tonight."  This single phrase would unleash a chain of memories He strung together throughout the year.  He had found so much love in the flowered shrines of India, in the cement huts of Uganda, along the shores of Australia, within the dimly lit milongas of Argentina, and the cobbled streets of France.  Echoes of the most important lessons taught to him resurfaced in a rosy fog, reminding him that

"I never had to choose between passion and profession"

"There is a war in you, and it is coming"

"Wherever you go, there you are"

"You need more presence to lead successfully"

"Being handsome is not enough.  Be great, be beautiful"

The Boy, the Beast, the One that Got Away, Our Hero, now the Prince, had chosen his happy destiny [whatever that would be], that much was clear.  Whatever complicated pathways were ahead of him, He would face them with everything He learned this year, and with the lessons He would keep learning on this journey [according to the fellowship director, "The Watson is never over.  It's just beginning."].

The pieces He found to the jigsaw of his life were now in place, but he knew that there would be so much more to find.  The bigger picture was far from complete, but well on its way to being solved.  He would remember everyone He met during his travels, and how unstuck they seemed to be in life.  Actually, now that he considered it, there were an equal amount of people back home who seemed to be the same.  The unfortunate thing was remembering who did become stuck, so immobile and so scared to find their pieces, to complete their picture.  What they were holding onto, He'd never be sure.

The Prince would hold hold onto this year, these memories, this feeling like none other, trying to remember the last stanza of a poem he found scribbled on a hostel wall:

There once was a man who'd become unstuck in the world -
and he traveled around like a leaf in the wind until he reached the place
where he started out.  His car, his job, his phone, his shoes -
everything was right where he'd left it.
Nothing had changed, and yet he felt excited to have arrived here -
as if this were the place he'd been going all along.

Our Hero had reached the place where He started out, but wouldn't stay there for long.  Not when the next journey was waiting to begin.


[Unstuck in the World]

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Love Lock[down]

Ah, Paris.

En francais:  Ehh, Peh-rhee.

Ze city of romance [or having high expectations of finding one] has hit me hard.  As my host said one afternoon over baguette sandwiches along the canal:

"Joshua, you're already in love with the city.  I can see it in your eyes."

In celebration of my arrival in the City of Light and general inability to mask emotions, I've decided to post pictures [and, of course, commentary] of one of my favorite landmarks: the Pont des Arts, which links the Louvre and the Institut de France.  

As a statement of everlasting love [or friendship], couples will engrave/write their names/initials onto a padlock [the Love Lock], affix them to the fence along the river, and either keep the key or throw it into the river below.

I know, a river full of keys.  You'd think that the dinner boats passing beneath the bridges would eventually hit a large mountain of metal, but...  

You can buy these locks for 4 euro, or about 5 dollars, along the river from souvenir vendors.

Ah, friendship along the river surrounded by locks.  Le simbolisme.

Tourist boat!


Bonjour, Pont des Arts!

Sooooo manyyyyy.


Two men from the US!  But where's Mark?

I guess the breakup was JUST THIS BAD.

Parts of the fencing have to be replaced from the amount of locks...

OLD.

"Your lips against mine."  ROMANTIC!!!

I did too.

Some other breakups are only bad enough to be Sharpied-out.

INDIA.  One of my favorites.

Mmm.  Maybe in another lifetime.

One of the more creative ones: attaching photos of yourself under Shakespeare keyrings.

I guess you could say the PEN IS mightier than the sword...


One can only hope...


More international ones!


Coline, we need to work on your creativity...

Even from Korea...


[unlocked]

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Like Making Love

Betty [preparing to leave the apartment]:  Ah Joshua, how are your tango classes?
Me [looking up from jar of dulce de leche]:  It's... okay.
B [concerned]:  How do you mean?
M:  It's already been three weeks, and I still can't lead.
B:  But you are just eh beginner.
M:  I know, but when I lead, most people who dance with me get frustrated and tell me that I need more force from the body, esfuerza del cuerpo.  But when I try doing that, I feel like I'm just ramming my chest into theirs.
B:  Ah but ees not just eh force.  Eets ah...  ahn energy.  Eets eh feeling.  Eet has to come from here [clutches her abdomen] and that's when you connect with another person.  When you hear tango, don't you feel eet here?


-| As seen at La Viruta |-

M [nodding slowly with raised eyebrows]: Si...
B [raising her eyebrows]:  Are you sure?
M:  No...
B:  When I hear tango, I...  [she shivers] Eet ees like when you make love.  You must, I forget how you say...
[Silence in which Betty looks off into the distance.]
M:  You can say it in castellano.
B:  Entregarse.  Without that, eets just eh dance.  And tango ees not just eh dance.  Without entregarse, there ees no connection, eets just moving.  Without-
M [finding the translation on GoogleTranslate]: -To surrender.  Entregarse is to surrender.
B:  Si.  Without surrendering, you are just moving.  Without that, eet ees just sex.  But with eet, eets making love.
M:  So I have to surrender to my partner?
B:  Si.  For me, you have to have that feeling, or you won't understand eet.  For me, tango and making love are the same.  That's why I like doing both. [Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she turns to leave the apartment.]  Eets okay.  You'll get eet soon.




[ Learning to Make Love?  Every Night? ]

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Single?

In a recent Ugandan newspaper [the Daily Monitor], an article entitled, "The Reasons You May Be Living a Single Life" was published.  In celebration of no particular reasons, I now share with you snippets of this article that apparently tell me a lot about myself.

-| Singlehood. |-
What are the errors that keep single people from attaining the relationships they feel they should have?


"Singlehood can be a pretty turbulent time for many individuals as they wonder why they are not hitched like everyone around them seems to be.  They run around groping in the dark trying to find the perfect mate and live happily ever after.  Many women prance around the idea of the Knight in Shining Armour riding on a horse and sweeping them off their feet to a magnificent castle..."


"In this search for love, many single people make mistakes along the way some of which can be have dire consequences.  Let's explore some of this issues and the effect they can have on your search for love."

"Expecting your partner to change. ... People are set in their ways of doing things and some of these behaviours form their personality making it almost impossible for them to change.  It therefore is important to ask yourself what aspects of your potential mate you are not willing to live with and which ones you cannot."


"Peer influence.  ... realising that most of their friends have gotten married, some women embark on a mission to find a partner with whom they too can start a family.  In this quest for love, they stoop too low and will compromise on some of the important factors necessary to  make a worthy partner.  They could neglect important aspects such as religion or trust and end up dating or possibly marrying someone only to realize later on they made a terrible mistake."


"Engaging in sex too early.  It is not advisable to get physical with a person you have just started dating...  Some people will simply take advantage of you and walk away after sleeping with you...  a couple that gets intimate too soon are more likely not to take the relationship seriously since they have already consummated their love.  Their relationship may end up becoming simply for sexual convenience...  by withholding from engaging in sex, you sieve out the genuine potential mate from the countless others who may simply be only interested in sex."


"Being too choosy.  ...Some people have very long lists of qualities that their dream mate should have and end up waiting in vain for someone who has all those qualities...  be liberal and understand that there is no person who is perfect so it's unwise to hold dearly onto such lists.  'If you are looking for 10 qualities and your potential suitor has six or seven then you could give them a chance.'...  You should try to get to know them and see what they have to offer.  You might be surprised to discover that they would make a good match for you.  Otherwise you may end up single for life if you religiously wait for someone who has all the endless qualities you so desire."


'Singlehood is a natural aspect of life and should be taken in that respect.  You should take your time as you search for a mate and not be pressured by unrealistic attitudes and beliefs."

-| Qualities to Look for in a Partner |-

"God fearing.  Spirituality is very important in any relationship because it can be the last point of reference when everything else in the relationship has failed."


"Trustworthiness.  A person that you can trust will keep you sane since you will not have be worried about what they are doing when you are not around.  Trust is crucial for any relationship."


"Financial prospects.  Money is key for any relationship since it determines the level of comfort that the couple will enjoy.  Ability and desire to work is much more important than tangible cash in hand."


"Chemistry.  Being attracted to you mate draws you close to them and is mainly the first thing that draws a couple together.  It is much easier to love someone you are attracted to than someone you're not."


-| Apologise to your woman |-

" 'I am sorry, I will make it up to you' translates into 'I cherish you.I don't want to do anything that makes you unhappy' It also says ' I am sorry I wasn't sensitive, I will make it up to you by being more sensitive . in the future'. Do you know how poweful the words 'I am sorry' are? They can melt the wall around a woman's hear, they can build back trust that was lost."

-| My Final Thought |-

Let's be honest: there are many.

Instead, try counting the grammatical errors - nothing was changed from the actual article.


[Single & Questionably Ready to Mingle]

Sunday, August 7, 2011

A Video?


On the bus ride back from Sunadha's performance at Alliance University's One Year celebration - a professor danced on a brass plate, I'm just saying - Nilmara, one of Samarthanam's social workers/teachers/adult figures decides to learn more about what I'm doing.

Nilmara:  So what is it that you hope to study here?
Josh [oversimplifying for clarity]:  I want to study dance in different cultures and volunteer programs.
N:  So you are a dancer?
J:  Yeah, I guess you can-
N:  -And what type of dance do you study?
J: Oh, I don't think I have one sty-
N:  -Did you enjoy the dance program tonight?
J:  Yes!  It was very entertai-
N:  -And you saw our girls perform?
J:  Yes.  I actually videota-
N:  -Did you videotape it?
J:  Umm, yes I did vi-
N:  -And you watched the university students and professors perform as well?
J:  Yeah, I videotaped them als-
N:  -Did you get a video of the fatty?
J:  The what?
N:  The fatty.  The fatty.  You know, the girl dancing with the boy.
J:  Oh, the one dancing hip hop and bollywood?
N:  Yes, the fatty.
J:  Now, well, I wouldn't call her fat, real-
N:  -Yes, she needs to stop eating all those sweets.  She was kind of slow, no?
J:  I thought she kept up with the boy very-
N:  No.  Too slow.  Fatty.
J:  Oh, okay.
[ Awkard lull in the conversation.  Josh stares out the window. ]
N:  So what style of dance do you practice?
J:  More than one style, I guess it's a lot of karate, contemporary, hip hop-
N:  -So you can teach the children at Samarthanam?
J:  I guess I coul-
N:  -Western dance?
J:  What do you mean, Western dance?
N:  Anything!  Western!
J:  I guess I could teach the Macarena.
N:  The what?
J [Lying, pretending it's still the 90s]:  The Macarena.  Very popular back in America.
N:  Okay.  You teach the children.
J:  Yeah, sure.  It won't be too hard-
N:  -Not too hard!  I will also learn.  And I'm a little fatty too, no?
[ Second awkward lull in the conversation.  Josh stares at the floor. ]
N:  How old are you?
J:  I'm twenty two.
N:  Ah, see, I am twenty three.  We are compatible, no?
[ Premature third lull.  Josh fidgets.  ]

Ah, India.  The Promised Land of impatience, desserts, and honesty.

[J]