Monday, December 5, 2011


Of the first 4 days in Australia:

1.  Vegemite, contrary to popular belief, does not taste terrible on toast, or at all.

2.  Australia is not America Part 2: it has its own strange customs, quirks, and even slanguage [slang + language] that make it lovable, terrifying, and hilarious.

3.  If you live with someone that has a garden, prepare to de-snail and de-slug it at nighttime, which is the best time to pick up these almost-liquid things that you feed to the chickens that poop out eggs for you in the morning.

-| Tupperware full of snails and slugs.  Be glad it's of poor quality. |-

4.  Orion is also visible from here.

5.  The summers are also cold here, but that's just because of global warming/climate change.  I had to wear my L. L. Bean microfleece to bed one night.

6.  The amount of t.v. you watch skyrockets, but the quality remains the same [awful].  The music videos are just as terrible, the documentaries ["When Teenage Meets Old Age"] say just as little, and the British dramas ["Upstairs Downstairs"] don't make any more sense.

7.  Walking around without shoes is popular here.  Especially in grocery stores.

8.  Candy is expensive, even without the conversion rate.  i.e., Mentos for 2 AUD | 2.05 USD.  Sad.

9.  Slang is hilarious, and like most, doesn't make sense.  "Chucked a wobbly" means "flipped a sh*t," "gone off" means "gone crazy," and "look at that gullah" means "stare at that idiot."  More to come.

10.  The toilets flush in the opposite direction.  Video update soon to follow.

11.  Kindness abound.  i.e., Free copy of Paulo Coelho's "The Pilgrimmage" from store owners, kind directions from strangers at the airport, invitations to birthday retreats in the country of South Australia, and amazing rooms and meals from dance directors.

12.  The currency is plastic.  The bills are partially see-through.

13.  Australians apparently shoot their national animal.  Farmers believe them to be pests.

-| If you look reaaaal close, you can see the Joey hanging out! |-

-| Exhibit A |-

14.  The flight here is INCREDIBLE.  The blankets [one of which is now in my possession], the food [Haagen-Dazs for dessert and an asian-style breakfast in the morning?], and the entertainment [Batman Returns, Another Earth, Mean Bosses, and Friends With Benefits was all viewed in a span of 8.5 hours] are waaay above par.  And, you get a whole row to yourself.

15.  When you live with a fashion designer and a dance director, all conversations become witty, dry-humored, and overly cultured.  And filled with many glasses of wine.


17.  BONUS:  in Hong Kong, Nicholas Cage is still a thing.  And his forehead sells watches.

18:  BONUS:  in Hong Kong, you can get plenty of knock-offs.  Even Cloud Gate / the Bean.

[Aspiring Aussie]

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